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Showing posts from August, 2017

Leading Two Different Lives

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**WARNING: This post is about ME and MY struggles. It doesn't mean I love the kids less and it's definitely not to blame their parents for how they have chose to parent. It's about ME and MY struggle to learn how to fill the role in their family** This week, I had the stark realization that my life was never going to be the same. You see, just about a year and a half ago, I started dateing the man of my dreams. At that time, I was involved with my church through the youth group and two connect groups. I had a standing ladies night every week. I was training for a marathon. I lived in my own 335 square foot apartment, where everything had a place. And, I didn't have any other being to worry about or force to eat. Then I moved in with Travis and his kids and our dog. I'm am constantly living outside my comfort zone. Every day is a new adventure for us. My life is a mix of toys scattered under the table and decorative keepsakes from my travels. It's a mix

Love and Belonging

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As a new member of a family, you feel out of place. Caught in the middle. You have uprooted what you know for complication, hysteria, and emotional salads. You're not single, but your not a traditional family. You're more than dating, but less than married. So you start questioning why do you deal with it? Why have I changed my whole lifestyle for someone else's family? Because I fell in love with Travis before I even met his kids. I fell in love with how he treated me. I fell in love with his sense of adventure and his willingness to let me push him. I fell in love with how we worked together to accomplish so much. Then, insert children. Insert his ex. Insert more unknowns. None a bad thing, just all new and unknown. I love these kids and would do anything for them. I want the best for these kids. I feel sad when they feel sad. But I am not their mom. And I will never be. I will always be the other woman. That's such a disturbing thought. That I will

Separated Time: How Much Influence Do We Really Have?

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Being a parent, you have influence over your kids - what they watch, what they eat, what they hear/say, what they do. You have so much power to make their life what it is. But what happens when the parents are divorced? What happens when you get 50% of that influence? Or 30% in our case? Travis and I work really hard to stay on the same page and have the same rules with the kids. That's where we're initiating the Love & Logic concept (see post one). But we were both raised differently. So, as a stepparent, that leaves me with half of the 30%. Or 15% to teach them what I want them to know about love, life, health, self control and self worth. What can one do in 15% of time - is it even worth it? Or do I throw up my hands and just let Travis do it his way? Nah...that's not my style. In "A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom" by Jacquelyn B. Fletcher, it talks about finding where you fit. It may not be traditional, conventional, or where you expe

Parenting with Love & Logic

Hi, my name is Tricia and I'm a stepmom. Well kinda. I'm getting there. In January 2016, I started dating a guy that had three kids. It was great, I loved kids. What could go wrong? Fast forward a little over a year, I can tell you what could go wrong. My life has been forever changed by a 8 year old daughter and 5 year old twin boys. My hope is to learn just what kinds of joys and hardships come from raising kids that aren't yours. So stay tuned. There's hilarious stories, frustrating moments, and a bunch of "Oh pickles!" coming your way. __________ A little background of Travis and I. We met and dated and got the kinks out of our relationship over the course of a year. We traveled, went out for date nights, caught concerts, and learned how to love and encourage one another. We learned what work meant for each other and what our passions are. We learned what made each other tick. Individually. It was glorious. Insert kids. Wait, back up. Tricia