How to: Stepmom to a T

We were fortunate enough to have a few days with the kids during their spring break. This was a trip that we booked well in advance and all I was prepping was the food. No plans. No schedules. No - well minimal - rules. Here's an overview of what we packed and how we did it with minimal effort - What we packed? Travel bags - full of activity books, car games, mind games, fidget spinners and books. They also had their iPads (yes, all kids have an iPad #divorceperks) but were not allowed to use them for the first half of the 3hr drive and until they've read for 20 minutes. This isn't typically an issue for us, as our kids love their education and enjoy simple mind games. My stepdaughter will read for hours and the boys enjoy math. We make sure that there is a variety. As you may know, kids get bored easily, so it allows them to jump from one thing to another.  My advice is not to tempt them with the electronics. Start the expectation before you ever get in th...

An anthem that keeps popping up in my head is, "Am I healthy enough for the lifestyle I'm advertising?" What I mean is I have this vegan, natural business through Arbonne. I blog about health. I instagram about health. I constantly talk about improving my health. But, you better believe we bought Girl Scout cookies this year. Does that make me a hypocrite? Here's what's convinced me that I'm not. We are not meant to be put in boxes. Not through personality quizzes, not through religion, not through our parental status, not through our hobbies. I've talked about moderation before. How we use the 80/20 method at our house. Or at least try to. But what I talk about is more of an extreme, right? However, there are all these ways that I KNOW how to get healthy. And it's my passion to teach those things to you and come along on that journey with you. But what shapes our journeys are the methods that actually FIT with our lifestyle? How can we ...

So, I saw this reminder the other day. Which is funny because it's something that's been on my mind lately. To me, self care doesn't mean putting on makeup, getting dolled up, and going out. And when you don't have on makeup or look slightly disheveled, people ask what's wrong? are you sick? are you sad? It's really rather annoying. Does that make women who like that wrong? No! As women, all of these different obligations should be self-inflicted. No one else should ever make us feel like we're doing it wrong. It's the same thing as parents. I tend to wake up earlier on weekends when the kids are here, then I do on the weekdays. I tend to be more productive and eat healthier while they're here because I want that for them. I tend to look for the next activity or project for them to participate in. These are the pains I have weekly about being enough. That spins me into a cycle of mental unrest. I'm sure you other mamas ...

One of the easiest breakfasts that I do is a protein shake. Recently, I've been sharing tips with friends on how I prep them. It's so easy and it's worth it for us non-morning-peeps! I do have my opinions on protein. I won't get on my soapbox here, but I will link to what I use. It's 20 grams of vegan protein and can be mixed into literally whatever.   This protein lasts me over a month per bag. I mix it in the shakes below or just one flavor with water for a kid's treat. Here's how I prep it: ALL AT ONCE. I grab: 1 bag spinach 1 carton almond milk 4 bananas 2 bag of berries 1/2 cup of peanut butter Flax seed Vanilla Protein Chocolate Protein Chai Proten I tend to make 3-4 varieties at a time. I blend a big batch and freeze them in mason jars. To drink: We leave out on the counter overnight - or pack in the morning and it's thawed by noon. This is a trick I learned from a friend and it's been fool proof for me so far. I j...

This has been a January that you need your mom, your dog and a big bowl of comfort food.  And, comfort food looks different for everyone.  One of my favorites is the Chicken Pot Pie casserole that I found online. I've slowly adapted it to fit my diet and my availability for cooking.  Find the original recipe here on the  Smells Like Home  blog.  My recipe has evolved over the years.  For starters, I don't make my own biscuits. I normally buy them from the store and put them on top, or I make them on the side and those who want them eat them. There are lots of Gluten Free options , too. For the chicken pot pie filling: 1 ½ tbsp vegetable oil (I have also used olive oil, coconut oil or avocado oil) 1 large onion, chopped fine 3 medium carrots, peeled and cut crosswise ¼-inch thick 2 small ribs celery, cut crosswise ¼-inch thick Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 4 tbsp unsalted butter (You can use ghee Earth Balance dairy free butter,...

In case you wondered, it’s possible to fly without a Government Issued Picture ID in your possession. You know how I know that? Because some twat-waffle decided to swipe my ID while I was in Atlanta. This is a PSA to all my trusting friends: Zip. Your. Bags. It was right beside me. It was in my sight, actually touching me. But because I let my guard down and let someone bump in to me and apologized, I said no worries and became a victim of identity theft. Little did that person know I don’t normally shop, so a $2000 purchase at an upscale mall triggered my Credit Card Company and my husband. It wasn’t the end of the world and it definitely didn’t stop me from enjoying my time with my family. In fact, I was able to get a foot massage, try an amazing Persian restaurant, walk by the river and play a few rounds of Euchre. But I 'd be remiss to say it didn't put a damper on my R&R weekend. This is the end of a run for me. It’s the end of my seventh work trip since August + Chr...

When I became a stepmom, I lost a part of myself. Now, don’t read that as a negative thought, because I gained so much. I lost my ability to move in an instant, but I gained a home. I lost sleeping in on the weekends, but gained three extra snugglers. I lost my desire to have a cat, but I gained another friend for my kids. Life is one big mystery. It never takes you where you think you’re going to go, but it drops you off where you need to be. However, boundaries are good. There are a few things that I see as non-negotiables in my life and my relationship with my step-family. If you are a step-parent and have some of your own, please share! Healthy eating  Home for hosting Must have love  First, I have healthy eating. This is important to me and a non-negotiable because I’ve done my research and I know the effects that food can have on our bodies. I used to not care - sugars, treats, pastas, ect - and by eating those, even playing three sports a year, I was...

I’m going to go there...so go away if you don’t like my opinion. You do not need milk to survive. You don’t even need it to thrive. You don’t really even need it. I know - I’m one of those hippie, fad diet, attention seeking health nuts that you hate. Wrong. I’ve done my research. I’ve looked into it. I’ve tried both ways. I grew up on milk. A glass of milk at every dinner. I don’t think it’s going to cause me cancer. I don’t think my mom did anything wrong. But I also don’t think milk is made the same way anymore. I simply don’t think it’s needed. And here’s why. We say we need to drink milk because of the calcium, the fat, and the protein. Which is all true - milk does have all those things. But there’s other parts of the label we need to take a peek at. One single cup of cow’s milk has 12 grams of sugar. That’s HALF of our recommended sugar intake each day. And I’m talking about white milk. Chocolate milk, Nesquick and Strawberry varieties have SO much more. We also think tha...

I'm sure all of you have many tips and tricks that you've learned over the years...so please share them!! Lately, I've been traveling for work a lot. It's mostly 24 hour trips and 4-6 meals eating out. Overnight in a hotel room, exhausted and long tired days on set.  To back up - I never used to travel this much for work. If I was traveling, it would be to see people and we would cook meals, or do races, or go places that I could get local cuisine homemade. I wouldn't need lots of extra caffeine and I always had time to "clean up". So, I used to have a rule: If I eat out,  I can have a "cheat meal" and I wouldn't worry about it. Cause, you know, moderation. But that's so not the case anymore. I used to do mud masks and have time to shower, but now it seems so exhausting.  So what do I do (well, try to do) to stay healthy and well during my travels.  1. You will never NOT find me with Fizz Sticks . I keep 3-4 in my work bag at ...

I am a list person. Like, I have lists where my lists are. I love to fill those lists. And I add to my lists just to cross it off. Sometimes it gets overwhelming when I have piles of lists and nothing seems to be getting completed. I once heard a speaker give a talk (I couldn’t tell you who it was, when it was, or what they were talking about) but I do remember the phrase “If you can get it done in 15 minutes or less, go do it now!” I thought, WOW! What a concept - just getting shit done. I love it!! But that’s still hard. Because some of my tasks take longer than 15 minutes. Tasks such as vacuuming the house, making dinner, putting away my clothes, etc. Those of us with kids know you can’t get through a single task without them interrupting. And those of us who don’t find our own ways to get distracted.  So, in our house, here’s my rule: The 5 Minute Rule. If you can do it in less than 5 minutes, it should be done. Examples of that include: Taking your clothes to...

So, if you’re anti-microwave, this blog won’t be for you. Just sayin. The majority of my weeknight meals comes from a microwave. However, the important part is that they weren’t bought in a package. I put them in the freezer first. Meal prepping is a huge part of how we maintain a healthy diet with a busy life schedule. It’s taken me nearly FOUR YEARS to figure out what works. What freezes. What doesn’t reheat well. What should be in the crockpot. What should be on the stove. And, it always changes. A child stops eating this. We start doing that. My husband finds a new food he’s into. My step kids have a new health issue arise. So we adjust. But underneath it all, there’s three principles that make up a good meal prep. Easy Cheap Nutritious In this first post, I’m going to talk about Meal Prep being easy. It’s a lot easier than a lot of these Pinterest folks make it look! I’m not going to lie, it will take a little bit of work, but we’re not restaurant chefs, we’re not building a ...

So I’m trying to figure out this middle ground thing. Some of my friends and I joke that we have kids, but our husbands can be counted as kids, too. And some days it’s endearing - watching them sled down the hill together, while I drink my tumbler of “hot cocoa”. Other days it’s annoying as...well, it’s really annoying.  I mean really!? How can a grown man just leave his socks around the house. How can he not see that the dishwasher has been clean for two days and it’s okay to empty it without me asking?! How can three kids all step on the same dirty kleenex and no one even flinch. Gahhh! That was one sacrifice I made as a stepmom...letting go of the idea of clean. You see, I went from having roommates my whole life. To finally renting my own studio apartment that was cute and clean and mine. I even have friends that tell me when they lived alone, those were the best years of their lives...even in 300 square feet. Then, I moved in with children. So what did I have to change in ...

Why is it so hard for people to be nice about being healthy? It’s the New Year and there’s going to be tons of people making resolutions. People going to the gym, starting diets, wanting to make a change. But yet, trainers have to put out PSA’s to be nice to new gym members, we have to give people a hard time when they choose not eat something, we don’t actually support them and help them on the track they choose. Maybe I’m just bitter today. But you wanna know why? My mom spent a LOT of money on a juicer that I asked for. So I started looking up recipes. You know which ones seemed to work best for immunity? Carrots and celery. What happens when you mix orange with green? Well if you ask people...sewer water, orange goop, stinky stuff, and “you gotta be kidding me.” Now, this isn’t a new year’s resolution. This is a way that my family and I can take another step in a direction to be healthy. But it would’ve been nice to be supported. Anyway, rant over. Here’s what I really wanna talk...

So, like everyone else this week, I’m reflecting on what a whirlwind 2018 has been. You see, this time last year - I wasn’t engaged, married, homeowner, or stepmom. I was driving back and forth from a house I was “renting” to a job that I felt I was sinking in. I was having growing pains trying to figure out how to be an authoritative figure and a loving stepmother at the same time. I was learning how to balance my independence with splitting my life with another. Then, NYE 2017 hit and then I was engaged and most of our family and friends were there to celebrate. I started planning my "dream wedding" - or as close to what I thought my day would be. We transitioned out of a house into OUR house. And I continued to network and find connections through my passions. That kicked 2018 off to a GREAT start. Here are my top 5 memories. Getting married and gaining my own family! This - by FAR - was my biggest hurdle. I've never wanted to be married or have kids. When I went t...

One of the most key changes in my health behavior was looking at the sugar. Using it in moderation and knowing how it affects my body and the body of my family. I started my health journey as a single lady (heyyyy). I would eat full size candy bars, diet coke and honey buns on the daily. Yes, that’s true. I had no clue what I was doing to my body. I was constantly tired, had horrible bouts of acne, couldn’t lose weight, had painful knees and back and was constantly craving it. When I learned about the Arbonne 30 days to Healthy Living and it dug into the section on sugar, I was BLOWN AWAY! Why don’t we teach this in schools?! Now that I’m married with step kids - and I assume being a parent is the same as being a stepparent when it comes to sugar - All kids want it. All the time. When sugar gets into our system we crave it. Plain and simple. If we start our kids on sugar young (have you ever muttered the words “it’s just a treat”??) or if we use it as a reward, then we are setting our...

I carry around my soapbox in case anyone asks me what it's like to be a stepmom or about my health journey. Those are the two greatest accomplishments in my life - they're the things I'm most passionate about. They are the times that I feel most alive and like myself. That's why I'm here...to share with the world the things I love most. And prove to you that none of it comes easy. So welcome to my messy, crazy, wonderful life... I went from a single and living in a 325 square foot bedroom apartment to a family of five owning a four bedroom home of my own. In the matter of two and a half years. I went from having one payment for things like school loans, car loans, grocery bills and toilet paper to having multiple butts to wipe (so to speak.) So I had to start learning that my independence was relying on others now. As a stepmom, there’s a LOT of compromise. I mean A LOT. Travis and I agree on quite a few major things in life, but not everything. How much we spend o...

I'm challenged to put into words everything I've been feeling lately.  Travis and I work. We just do. He's the butter to my bread and the breath to my life.  I am a better person because of Travis.  So why is this life that we're creating together so. damn. hard.??? Divorce is messy. There's always a third opinion - or there's always two opinions that aren't yours - that factor in to every decision. And dating a divorced man with kids is messy. I get to be part of the discussion, but never part of the decision for the kids. No matter how much I give to the kids or the ex, someone's always doing more or gets to do more. I'm pouring out with nothing in return.  And some say, that's part of being a parent. Well guess what, I'm not a parent!!! I didn't want to have kids and take on that responsibility. I didn't ask for child support and enrolling them in every activity they want to do, saving every penny for their b...